EPCOT EPCOT is one of those good ideas that doesn’t quite work: an educational theme park that "makes learning fun." But in its not working, it sometimes does work… but it depends on who you ask. EPCOT was always Carrie’s favorite park when she was a kid, but it didn’t measure up to her memory of it this time. Her biggest problem is that it doesn’t have the timeless quality that the Magic Kingdom has—this park shows its age. Lots of the attractions seem run-down and dirty, and lots of them show that they are products of the 1980s. Carrie feels there’s too much open space where attractions need to be and that the park doesn’t seem to cohere as a whole: there’s no connection to be felt between Future World and the World Showcase beyond "Walt Disney teaches you something." And ultimately Carrie’s problem with EPCOT teaching us anything is that it doesn’t; it only comforts us with information we already have. All of this isn’t as much of a problem to Rusty who appreciates EPCOT’s "A for effort" charm. It will never be an edgy, innovative place like it wants to be (and it never was, even in the 80s when it opened), but it is a comfortingly dull place. And of course it’s a very pretty place, working as a traditional "park," a place where you simply want to be for the scenery. Carrie agrees that the park is relaxing, a plus if you’re worn out from doing the Magic Kingdom the day before. It’s also a place where you can find alternatives for eating if you’re sick of those fries they serve everywhere else. EPCOT will probably always be the retarded cousin of the Magic Kingdom and its hipster nephew MGM Studios, but it will also probably always survive as a haven for old people (and the "old at heart") who prefer neither hustle nor bustle and who appreciate the goofy incarnation of education that occurs here every day in this permanent world’s fair. Future World Like the park as a whole, the attractions in this world don’t seem to fit together (more a problem for Carrie than Rusty). An aquarium next to a car test track next to a greenhouse—grouped under the idea that they represent "the future"? There’s nothing much "futuristic" about Future World, even if you were to pretend it was 1982, when the park opened. Even the newest attractions are "present" at best. Tomorrowland in the Magic Kingdom often does a much better job of what this land is trying to accomplish. But, again, it doesn’t matter much that your mind isn’t blown away much by anything, since most of this area is enjoyable enough. Leave a Legacy This was a good idea someone came up with, though it’s a shame we didn’t do it so we can go back in years to come and remember our first Disney trip together. We like the idea of Disney having a history of its visitors displayed, sort of an over-the-top guest book. Carrie: B+ Spaceship Earth The geosphere (better known as "the big golf ball") is really interesting-looking and not like anything else that exists in the world. Inside the ball is one of the more enjoyable rides in EPCOT. It’s one of the old school animatronic rides that (like so many things Disney does) begins with "cave men" and ends with the future. The coolest thing about it is that it goes backward for most of the latter part of the ride. Carrie: B Universe of Energy This wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t last 45 minutes. It pretends to be a ride, but essentially it is a film with a brief pit-stop where you see some animatronic dinosaurs: a film without a point. It’s supposed to be about energy, but mostly just talks about dinosaurs, never connecting the two (it doesn’t even talk about fossil fuels). The worst thing, however, is that it fails at being funny and that it utilizes Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Nye, another example of how EPCOT doesn’t have the "timeless" quality that it needs to be successful. We wish Disney would keep these E!-type celebrities out of the parks: they try to be au courant, but in the end they only show their age. Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Nye aren’t as everywhere as they were maybe five years ago. And in another five years, people will barely remember them. The ride itself isn’t up to date, as was shown when it broke down on us. Carrie: D Wonders of Life Rusty thinks of Body Wars as a sort of "gross" version of MGM’s Star Tours. Gross because the plot is that you’re shrunk (Fantastic Voyage-style) in order to go inside the body to remove a splinter, including all the puss and blood that goes with it. Carrie didn’t find it to be gross when she rode on it a long time ago (and her movie comparison is Martin Short’s Inner Space). Both of us agree that it’s one of the most "thrilling" rides in EPCOT, and one of the most fun. We weren’t able to see Cranium Command and The Making of Me because this part of the park is open seasonally, which is a shame because it seemed like it might have been cool. Carrie: B- Mission: SPACE This was advertised as the most exciting ride in all of Disney World, but in fact it’s only exciting compared to most EPCOT rides. It’s pretty much like the Gravitron at the state fair in that it spins you around in order to make the gravity press against you sideways. The difference here is that you can’t tell you’re spinning around—instead you’re looking at a video monitor that makes it appear as if you’re going up into space and that’s where all the G-forces are coming from. There’s a huge build-up to the ride itself, with videos of Bill Paxton explaining your "training" to you, and by the time you’re strapped in, you expect it will be the coolest thing you’ve ever done. It doesn’t live up to the hype, but Carrie appreciates all the make believe stuff that makes you feel like you’re propelling the rocket forward. Everyone gets a "job" and has to press certain buttons at critical moments. This was fun in that it was interactive and not just the rider sitting there and watching things go by. In the end it was a fun-enough ride that stands out only because it’s at EPCOT. Carrie: B Test Track This was a long wait, even with the fast pass that we had. The temperature tests were sort of annoying, but the one part where the car does a really quick acceleration to some crazy speed was thrilling-if-quick. If it weren’t for the outrageously long line (which is apparently the case all of the time), the ride would be fine, but it’s not worth the wait for those three seconds of quickness. Carrie: C Innoventions There’s not a lot to look at here, since it’s essentially a place to play with gadgets, most of which you’ve seen before or own yourself. You could save yourself some time by skipping these two buildings and just go to the Sharper Image at the mall. Then go home and play with your favorite photo manipulation program. Carrie: D The Living Seas If there’s a number one thing to update in EPCOT, it’s this. First, you take an elevator down to the showroom. The elevator is arguably the best part of the "attraction," since it makes it look like you’re going underwater, but even it just feels like the elevator you rode in the hotel that morning. Then the "showroom" is just a big open area covered with dirty 1980s blue carpet and nothing to do but look at stuff floating around in dingy water. This isn’t even as good as your local aquarium. The newest section features stuff from Finding Nemo in an effort to make this anywhere near appealing. There is also a film, which we avoided. Carrie: F The Land The food court here, that you look at while in line for "Living With the Land," is really ugly. The paintings on the wall feature quotations from children and political figures that nod to conservation ideals. We probably sound like the worst liberal hipsters, but reading "Save the Earth" sentiments from people like George Bush, Sr. got on our nerves. The ride itself would be fine – though not much different from the stuff you’ve already been on – if it weren’t for the extremely long line. The ride itself is you on a boat looking at old films of people picking corn and stuff, and you don’t learn anything beyond that watermelons can be grown in the shape of Mickey Mouse (the one highlight of the attraction). The Circle of Life was avoided. Carrie: C Imagination! Making a big deal about the imagination is what Disney is – and should be – all about, so we like the theme here. It’s arguably the most enjoyable section of EPCOT due to both the section itself and the character of Figment being fun and charming and whimsical and all the stuff great Disney creations should be. The ride "Journey Into the Imagination with Figment" (tied with the Tomorrowland Transit Authority for the number one no-wait-at-all attraction in Disney World) is a very fun ride for kids or for adults who like these sorts of kid rides. Honey, I Shrunk the Audience isn’t the best of the four 3-D Disney films, but it’s an enjoyable one. And "ImageWorks—The Kodak ‘What If’ Labs" is maybe the only "science museum" type place in EPCOT where kids might conceivably want to spend more than a few seconds. When Carrie thinks of EPCOT, Imagination! and the World Showcase is what she thinks of. Carrie: B World Showcase This is the most "adult" section of the park since it based around what most adults want to do while on vacation. The pretty flowers all over and big lagoon in the middle make it an ideal place to relax and stroll around. The restaurants here offer more interesting food than you can get anywhere else in Disney World. The shopping here is particularly enjoyable because, even if you don’t buy anything, there are lots of interesting things to look at from other countries that you might not see much of in America. Carrie's biggest complaint is that most of the time the World Showcase simply comforts the perceptions that you already have of these countries ("In China they eat eggrolls!" "Canadians like hockey!"). The problem she has is not that the Showcase isn't exotic or "authentic," but that the countries are often not particularly magical or Disney. Being in China sometimes felt to her like being in a slightly above average American Chinese restaurant. She feels that Disney should make the experience a little more sparkly. Pretty is good, but she wants to get more excited by this stuff. The World Showcase is definitely not what you make a trip to Disney World for, but it’s a very pleasant thing to do in the middle of the big fun. Mexico For Carrie, the "El Rio del Tiempo" is the WEDWay of EPCOT: a dim, relaxing boat ride through Mexico where you learn about the Aztec ruins and see little bits of Mexican culture like maracas, colorful blankets, and piñatas. For Rusty, who lives in South Texas, it’s the same ol’ same ol’. Carrie: B Norway This is more like a "ride" than the rest of what you’ll find in the World Showcase. It’s more fun and exciting than "El Rio del Tiempo" (you get to go backward – very slowly – down a tiny waterfall). It has a narrative about Norse mythology that could potentially be interesting and informative except that it’s not really loud enough to hear. I’m sure the film explains it all later, but we avoid these sorts of films. Carrie: B China While we skipped the China filmstrip, we did go inside the building where the Chinese gatekeeper burst into spontaneous song. The pavilion here is as pretty as any other. Carrie:C Germany This is the one adult bit of EPCOT that Carrie could do without, not knowing why people would want to sit and drink beer when they do it every other weekend of the year. She pushed Rusty through it very quickly. Rusty himself didn’t mind Germany, since it didn’t necessarily seem to be about the drinking to him. Carrie: C Italy This was a pretty little part of the World Showcase with a fountain and outdoor cafe. We ate inside Alfredo’s, the sit-down-and-be-served restaurant. We were impressed with how quickly they seated us, based on how crowded it was, but in the end we recommend one of the order-at-the-counter places elsewhere in the World Showcase. The food was expensive considering that it wasn’t even as good as your local Olive Garden. Carrie: C+ U.S.A. We ate lunch here in the Liberty Inn, which was pretty and colonial-esque. The USA section of the World Showcase is essentially equivalent to Liberty Square in the Magic Kingdom. They could use some kind of American landmark attraction here, like the Statue of Liberty or a model of the Washington Monument. Carrie: C Japan Carrie really liked the Japan Gallery, which didn’t just re-hash her idea of Japan but gave her something new to look at with the tin toy robots. The gift shops here were also really fun to wander around in with silk kimonos and Japanese dishes and Hello Kitty paraphernalia that served as eye candy for us. Carrie: B- Morocco The two stops were interesting in a museum sort of way. If we go again, we might get some food here because it looked good. Carrie: C France This was pretty. Um. France is pretty. Carrie: C United Kingdom Pretty English gardens here and a nice walk through. The whole place had the aroma of fish and chips, which was kind of nice. We also learned that The Beatles are from England. Carrie: C+ Canada This was also very pretty with gardens and fake waterfalls. We hear from Carrie’s parents that the restaurant is quite tasty, though we didn’t eat here. Carrie: C+ Outpost They could stand to turn this into an actual African country. Right now it’s just a little gift shop with an unfortunate name. Carrie: F IllumiNations:
Reflections of Earth This was really great. It’s hard to know where to sit if you don’t know where the show will be, but what we could see was really impressive and bright. Like all fireworks shows, this one was romantic. The stuff they did with the lasers was also cool and gave it a distinctly EPCOT flavor, which differentiated it from the "Wishes Nighttime Spectacular" at the Magic Kingdom (which you could see from EPCOT if you turned around). A nice closing to the day. Carrie: A |
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