Universal's Islands of Adventure

This is more like it.  This park is unique in Orlando because it seems to target older kids, middle schoolers, and adults with its thrill rides.  The format of this theme park is copied from Disney World, having five distinct lands, in this case "islands," serving as little parks within themselves—but the copying isn't a bad thing, since it's obviously just the way to go.  The Islands of Adventure are much better than Universal Studios in many ways, but perhaps most important is that it's just a more pleasant, colorful, fun atmosphere.  Lands like Seuss Landing and Toon Lagoon are unforgettable and have lots of great scenery.  There’s definitely more and better things to do here, and more that you’ll want to do more than once.  The more they add, especially in terms of roller coasters, the better this park will be.  We can only see Islands of Adventure getting more cool as the years go on.

Seuss Landing

A great little land for kids, even if you don't ride anything, just because the entire thing is like a Dr. Seuss book come to life.  All of the scenery, like the little railroad car that ran above your heads with Dr. Seuss characters in it, is great.  It makes you want to pull out your cameras.  The Cat in the Hat and other characters will probably be lurking around too, which is always fun.  You could easily have an entire theme park based on Dr. Suess's books, so this was a good choice, especially because so many adults still love Seuss because they’re nostalgic for it and also because his art is so wonderful.  And, of course, kids learning to read (or learning to watch Jim Carrey movies) love Seuss.  So, unlike the Barney section in Universal Studios, this works for everyone.

If I Ran the Zoo
An interactive playground for children based on the book
If I Ran the Zoo.

There are around twenty interactive "animals" to play with for children, little games and puzzles to figure out, any one of which a child could spend all day playing with.  It's just cool to walk around in, even if you don't play with any of the animals.  Rusty would have liked to look around in here a little more if we had more time.  And although Carrie thought some of the animals were cracked and showing wear (something you don’t notice at Disney World, which is way older than this park), the animals here are really cool-looking and bring Theodore Geisel’s art to life in a great and colorful way.

Rusty: B
Carrie: B-

The Cat in the Hat
A ride on a couch that tells the story of
The Cat in the Hat.

A classic Disney-style indoor animatronic ride that tells a story, in this case the entire book The Cat in the Hat.  Carrie, though she liked the really great scenery, was bothered with the dizzying turns and spins, which seemed to her extraneous.  The point here was actually to look at the sets designed to look like scenes from The Cat in the Hat—so the point was thrown off because the ride got turned into a Tilt-a-Whirl half the time.  Not every ride in a park has to have all the same bells and whistles.

Rusty: B
Carrie: B-

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
You control spinning fish to go up and down, depending on what a song tells you to do, so you don't get squirted—based on the book
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

A cool added feature to the Dumbo-style rides.  Instead of simply spinning up in the air and going up and down randomly, you're trying to avoid getting squirted with water.  There's a really catchy song (Rusty was singing it all day) playing that tells you when you should go up and down, depending on what fish you are in ("One fish, red fish: up up up… Two fish, blue fish: down down down…" etc.).  Forget the fact that we followed instructions and got wet once anyway.  It's not as high up or fast as the Dumbo ride, but that makes it all the more better for children (and scaredy-cat Rusty, who always felt he could fall out of Dumbo any second).

Rusty: B+
Carrie: B+

Caro-Seuss-el
A merry-go-round based on various characters from the Dr. Seuss books.

One of the cooler carrousels simply because of the weird Seuss characters, colorfulness, and varying sizes and shapes of the animals.  Once again, an amazing job of taking pictures from a book and making them 3-D.  The colors are great, and riding a crazy, imaginative Seuss character is way better than riding a horse on your average mall carousel.  Apparently you can also move the animals' heads around and make them blink and stuff, but we didn't really notice that part.

Rusty: B
Carrie: B

The Lost Continent

The island where Carrie was constantly asking, "What movie is this?" "Who is he based on?"  The Lost Continent is the only island that isn't built around some pop icons or other; it's simply the lost continent, an island of myths and legends.  Carrie’s theory is that if you’re going to have a park based around movies, and you have a section based on “made up” creatures like unicorns and dragons, well, it should be relatively simple to find movies you can attach to the rides.  Rusty, however, doesn’t agree that Islands of Adventure is “based around movies” anyway (Jurassic Park is the only land based on a movie); that’s what Universal Studios is.  It is true that the rest of the lands are based on “name brand” characters, so it throws one off a little, but Rusty kind of likes the fact that we get “pure” myths and legends: a plain old wizard instead of Gandalf, a simple dragon instead of Puff the Magic Dragon, a regular unicorn instead of the unicorn from Legend™.  It’s makes the characters and rides more timeless.

Poseidon's Fury
A walk-through special effects show based on the myth of Atlantis.

We didn't get to see this one.  There is so much to do in this park that we never felt like spending 22 minutes in a show.  So maybe it was cool, maybe it wasn't.

The Mystic Fountain
An interactive wishing fountain.

Apparently it's a fountain that talks to you and squirts water at you and stuff (we believe there’s an actual human working it), but we didn't go too near it or check it out.  Besides, there are plenty of squirting fountains in these parks.

The Eighth Voyage of Sinbad Stunt Show
A stunt show based on the legend of Sinbad.

A stunt show we had no interest in seeing.  It seems to be the Indiana Jones stunt show equivalent.

Dueling Dragons
Two different high speed roller coasters – Fire and Ice – that intersect with each other.

The best roller coaster(s) in the park.  The line is indoor and themed with skulls and things, so the line never feels too long or oppressive.  At one point in the line it splits, and you have to choose whether to ride the Fire coaster or the Ice coaster (a good design idea, instead of just having two lines throughout), because this is actually two roller coasters that complement each other, intersecting and coming close to each other several times.  The anticipation is really terrifying once you get strapped in and your feet are dangling down—since this is an inverted coaster, with the track above your head, making it more thrilling (and less predictable) than a traditional coaster.  On the initial ride up the hill, you can see the other coaster coming along beside you and—at various points during the ride itself, if you really pay attention—you can see the other coaster flying by (a visual that works better, actually, for spectators on the ground).  The corkscrews were the scariest and most fun, because you went so fast.  The upside down loops were appropriately scream-inducing.  Carrie closed her eyes through the first ride on the Fire coaster, and opened them (because she was less scared) the second time when we chose the Ice side.  If we rode them enough, we could probably tell the difference between Fire and Ice (many have noticed differences), but both seemed roughly the same: lots of loops and corkscrews as the major components.  Some say the world will end in fire.  Some say ice.

Rusty: A
Carrie: A

The Flying Unicorn
A children's roller coaster in the shape of a unicorn.

This is a kiddie coaster that's a little more thrilling than the Woody Woodpecker at Universal Studios, and maybe even it's a little too much for really small kids, but it's perfect for those people who want something a touch thrilling, but nothing scary at all.  The only problem is that the line was really long (at least when we rode it, or at least it felt like a long time) and the ride is only a minute long, way too short.  By the time we stood in line long enough to watch the coaster go through its cycle about twenty times, we felt like it might not be exactly worth it.  During the long wait, Rusty amused myself by making up lyrics (based on the posted story of the ride) along to the continual instrumental music playing: "There was once a wizard who found a magic horn.  He made his greatest creation: the Flying Unicorn."

Rusty: B-
Carrie: B-

Jurassic Park

We’re sort of suckers for Jurassic Park the movie, and this was a neat (and obvious) thing to use as a theme.  It's got the big Jurassic Park arch and some dinosaurs poking their heads through the bushes and all sorts of prehistoric sounds, and the continually-playing theme to the movie.  The trees with dense leaves and mist (to replicate the dinosaurs’ natural habitat) made it cooler in this area, which helps in Florida.  There's even more that could be done with this part of park (a bringing to life of the events in the movie itself comes to mind—complete with a T-Rex smashing your jeep in and stuff), so we hope they add to it someday.

Jurassic Park Discovery Center
A science museum based on the Visitor's Center from
Jurassic Park.

Some kind of crappy version of the Smithsonian.  There's lots of interactive dino-crap to mess with that might be mildly entertaining if there weren't an entire theme park outside.  Perhaps really nerdy kids might like this place until they realize it’s not actually teaching them anything.  We sometimes hate it when amusement parks pretend to educate you in these hands-on discovery centers.

Rusty: C-
Carrie: D

Jurassic Park River Adventure
A river ride featuring dinosaurs and a final splash.

One of our favorite rides at Universal Orlando.  They executed the drama of this one really well, in that it begins very tame (and peaceful) and ends up fast and wet.  At the beginning, it's a leisurely animatronics river ride looking at herbivores, and at first we thought it might be the WEDway of Universal.  Of course, we waited until the end of the day to ride this, so we were the only ones in the large boat.  If the ride were crowded with four people in a row and we were in the middle, we might not have been able to see the scenery as well and it might not have been relaxing.  Maybe, maybe not, but we definitely suggest getting a boat to yourself and sitting in the front if you can.  If you do, it’s perfect.  After the initial relaxing boat ride, you start seeing Raptors and the ride begins speeding up, and then finally your boat is brought very close—nose to nose—to a moving life-size Tyrannosaurus Rex, which was actually very cool.  And while you're staring him in the face, the boat drops very steeply and you get a pretty big splash at the end.  So much for the peaceful WEDway, but we enjoyed the contrast.  You should only ride this when you don't mind getting wet, but if that's the case, then it's really great.

Rusty: A
Carrie: A

Camp Jurassic
A prehistoric playground for children.

We didn't spend much time looking at this, but it seemed like one of the least interesting children's playgrounds of the parks.  Carrie especially gets rather tired of the little playgrounds.  They are an activity you can do without waiting in line, and they do offer something for littler kids, but... they should all be as good as the Popeye one.

Rusty: C
Carrie: C-

Pteranodon Flyers
A children's sky ride shaped like a Pteranodon that flies over Jurassic Park.

The most annoying ride ever, because it's the only ride we've ever heard of (aside from the infamous "Fire Chief" at state fairs) where adults have to be accompanied by children.  If you're over four and a half feet tall, you can't ride this unless you have a kid with you.  There's a seat in the front for kids and a seat in the back for an adult, so two adults is a no-go, and apparently one adult sitting in the adult seat won't "fly" either.  So if you're not a parent or something, you'd have to kidnap a child or coerce some kid wearing a school T-shirt to ride with you.  The sad thing is that it looked pretty awesome from the ground, like some kind of old-time flying machine.  You fly around pretty high, too (so high up that we’re a little surprised that it’s intended for children), getting a good view of the park, we imagine.  The design of having an individual in front and one in back is nice, since sometimes the big cars hold too many people and all those people crowd the view.  Anyway, we didn't get to ride this, as much as we wanted to.  If only Carrie were a few inches shorter.

Rusty: C+
Carrie: B-

Toon Lagoon

A very cool land, not just for the rides, but because it's one of the most visually-stimulating islands here.  Everywhere you look is a different comic strip character.  There's some non-comic stuff here (Dudley Do-Right is one), but even those are older (no Sponge Bob here) and give the whole area a cool sense of nostalgia.

Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls
A flume ride based on the Dudley Do-Right characters.

The Splash Mountain of Universal Orlando.  It has all the hallmarks of a good log flume ride, plus some cool fake-looking scenery.  In the same way that Splash Mountain told the story of Bre'r Rabbit before the big plunge, this one has lots of characters from the Dudley Do-Right world.  But you don't have to wait for the final drop for this to be exciting, since there are other little whips and turns and things to keep it interesting throughout.  The drop is really fun and it gets you wet, so make sure you don’t mind that.  Even watching the plunge from the sidewalk, as a non-rider, seems cool (and can get you wet too, if you want it to).

Rusty: A
Carrie: A-

Me Ship, The Olive
A children's playground in the shape of Popeye's ship.

The best playground for all ages and circumstances (Curious George is great, but only for children who want to get wet).  The best part about this was that you could aim water guns at the people riding the Bilge-Rat Barges, and then you could watch their reaction when they realized that it wasn’t part of the ride—that they were getting wet because of other tourists.  The guns were especially nice since other parts of the park make you pay a quarter to squirt people on water rides.  The height of the boat was also good because you got a good view of the park and the roller coasters.  A good picture spot.  And, you know: Popeye.

Rusty: B
Carrie: B+

Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges
A white water rapids raft ride based on the Popeye characters.

A really fun raft ride.  It gets you really soaked by the end, and yet you’re not angry about it—just soaked enough that you could still dry yourself.  Of course, it also depends on where you sit: we got much more wet than some of the other people on our barge, though everyone had some significant portion of wet.  You might want to take your shoes off and put them in the protective center bins that get covered with plastic, especially if you want to walk around more without squishing.  As long as you save this and the other wet rides for the end of the day (or the hottest part of the day when the sun will dry you off soon), you're fine.  You're basically getting wet every two seconds on this one, either with little squirts from the ride or the people above in the Olive ship, or during parts where they basically just dump tubs of water on you.  And, you know: Popeye.

Rusty: A-
Carrie: A-

Marvel Super Hero Island

Neither of us were ever big superhero/comic book people, but we liked this land and thought it was a good idea.  Luckily, the Marvel superheroes are the best of the bunch.  You can see some of them wandering around, Spider-Man and Captain American and all those folks.  A great place for the ten-year-old boy we have inside us.  And especially great for the actual ten-year-old comic fan: the one who sits at home drawing Spider-Man on tracing paper and writing “KABLAM!” on all his notebooks at school.

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man
A 3-D ride based on the Spider-Man comics.

All those 3-D movies eventually have the same few tricks and nothing is new after a while, so it was interesting to see that the 3-D ideas were combined with an actual moving ride: not just a car that moves in place, but an actual car-on-rails.  The effects work pretty well of Spider-Man jumping onto your car, villains throwing fire in your face, etc.  All with movements synched up with your car and other environmental factors so it feels like it's actually happening.  It did what the Earthquake ride at Universal Studios didn’t do, which was make us suspend our disbelief and believe that we are in a world of villains and that Spiderman is swinging around trying to save us.  Besides, Spider-Man has always been Rusty’s favorite superhero.

Rusty: A-
Carrie: A

Doctor Doom's Fearfall
A rapid-acceleration upward 150 feet followed by a freefall, based on the Doctor Doom character from The Fantastic Four.

The premise of this ride is that Doctor Doom is extracting your fear to use as power for one of his schemes, one of those goofy ideas that Rusty liked.  The scariest part of this ride was the buildup.  You're strapped into the ride and you realize there isn't much separating you and the 150 feet of air you're going to be climbing: your legs and feet are simply hanging and there's nothing in front of you except for your harness.  So sitting there a few seconds before the ride starts is pretty scary, especially if you're not sure what to expect.  Rusty had been on other freefalls before, but those had begun with a slow ascent to the top before finally dropping you.  This one shoots you up all the way to the top really quickly, which was a surprise—though technically less scary, since the slow ascent of other freefalls builds more anticipation and allows you to grasp the extreme height.  For this freefall (which is initially more like a rocket ship simulator really), the speed of the upward movement was certainly scary, but you go up so quickly that you don’t have time for the height to sink in before your stomach starts sinking as you experience all the zero gravity fun.  So once the ride actually begins, there’s more fun than fear; all the fear was during the anticipation.  The view is very nice once you go back up and do the smaller drops—you can see out really far and see the entire park.  The ride is also very smooth and pleasant-feeling and the wind feels nice.  It is a short ride (with a long line), but that’s part of the thrill of the drop, that it’s a one time thing that only works because of its fleetingness.  It’s probably Rusty’s favorite thrill ride here and definitely Carrie’s favorite of all the rides in the park.

Rusty: A
Carrie: A

Storm Force Accelatron
A spinning cups ride based on the X-Men's character Storm.

This is essentially the Teacups, but with X-Men instead of charm.  Carrie doesn’t remember what the setting was like, or what it was that we sat in, so it was even less memorable for her.

Rusty: C+
Carrie: C+

Incredible Hulk Coaster
A high speed roller coaster based on the Incredible Hulk.

It’s not as scary as the Dueling Dragons or the Dr. Doom—either in the ride itself or in the anticipation of it—but it’s a good roller coaster, most notable for immediately and quickly shooting you upward before spinning you upside down.  We like that they don’t muck around before sending you into the big thrill moment.  The rest of the ride is good, fast, and loopy; it’s got some interesting twists.  With all the speedy, loopty-loo roller coasters at the Islands of Adventure, though, Rusty misses some of the classic styles, where the scariest part is going slowly (and clackily) up the big hill and then being dropped straight down.  There were none of those lose-your-stomach drops to be found here, which may just be part of the newest craze to keep you flying and spinning.  At any rate, this was a fun, solid coaster which also looks really great as a view from around the park.

Rusty: A
Carrie: A

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You may email Carrie Hoffman and Rusty W. Spell.